Hoho! Dear 1E1nians, today is the time of the month you've all been waiting for. It's our one and only...1E1 monthly newsletter! From today onwards, I have decided to start a small monthly newsletter to keep all of you updated on the latest 1E1 news! Kindly register at the tagboard, if you wish to have the newsletter. And remember to leave your email, so I can add it to the list of recipients. And so, without further ado, let it begin!

(May's Newsletter)

The 1E1nian Times.

Welcome all 1E1nians! This is news reporter Icecreamman here today, bringing you the updates on the in and going ons of 1E1. And without a doubt, we'll also be bringing you behind the scenes, of the daily 1E1 playground behaviour!

Alright, first things first. It's time for our couple of the month! Today, we have the story of Paul and Sarah, who had a daughter called Winnie, who married Aldridge, who is the son of yours truly, who is the son of Nicole, who was fathered by Keith, after having fun with Yan Yee. And so, Paul has rejected Vienna, who seems to still like him, after countless rejections. Sigh, indeed, it is a perfect couple distrubed by Vienna. Let's look at what they have to say.

Sarah: Aiya, it's okay la. I'm still friends with Vienna rite?

Paul: I don't like Vienna la, she sucks. *chuckles like a mouse*

Vienna: How many times you want me to tell you, I DON'TCH LIKE PAUL! (this is a very obvious lie)

And so, I promise you further updates on this matter. Now, we move on to Paul's life, as the CEO of his Paul's Milk and Cheese company, and his wife, Sarah's career as an artist. You see, Paul has just started his factory, and he is short of workers.

Anyone who is interested, look for Paul, Matthew or Sarah to register. And yes, Paul DID pay me a lump sum for this advertisment. And then we have Sarah, who has just discovered her abilities to decorate faces/bodies of people very well using simple photo editors. The photo of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, is currently somewhere in our archives.

Then we have the inside updates on the last strain of the Roger Poh disease. It seems that though the cause is gone, some of our dear members of 1E1 are still suffering from this terrible disease. Let's take a closer look.

Bing Ru: Go away la, don't disturb.

Winnie: *ah-choo!*

Rachel: *vomits*

Matthew: *uh-err-herr-herm-uhh!*

And so, the list goes on. Also, as a side effect for those who have recovered, they seem to have taken a great interest in 20-cents and China stuff. Wonder what it's about?

Oh yes, and to end this newsletter, though it might be late, good luck for your examinations, and may the world be at peace once again!

Bingru <3 Rachel
Paul <3 Sarah
Sanzhi <3 Derine
Monksoon <3 Dani...I mean, Nunsoon.

(Some couples were left out due to special concerns)

And the infamous, super duper unforgettable rumor of January and February,

Keith <3 Yan Yee